No subtext here. People are naked.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
