Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
