Christians are straight up FREAKS
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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