whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
