Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
