You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
