She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
