if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Randomize
