Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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