imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize