she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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