Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
