Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize