Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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