I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I showed him my bush... on skype.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
