Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
