so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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