Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
