I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My pussy is not your playground.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
