I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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