I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
