Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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