no, he came in my armpit
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
