It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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