No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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