and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
