Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i already hear my dad disowning me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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