Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
