At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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