She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize