My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we should paint friendship bongs
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