we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
