Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
