I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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