I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
