Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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