Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
