we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
