He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
