Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
