At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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