yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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