I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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