Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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