I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
