Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
