i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
