My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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