it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
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So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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