Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
