are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
