We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Shame - the story of my life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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