I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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