I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He shit in the fireplace
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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