Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
