i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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