I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm too high and old for this...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
