Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
