is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
