He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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