clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
