I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
barbara walters just said penis...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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